Featured Writer: Terese Pampellonne

Driving Miss Diane

I go-go danced in New Jersey for more than eight years and had many drivers.  Since I lived in Manhattan, I’d usually take a bus out, but they would drive me back over the George Washington Bridge, or under the Hudson River via the Lincoln and Holland Tunnels.  For ten dollars plus toll, I didn't really care what route they took as long as they delivered me home, intact.  I relied on these men.   New Jersey Transit stops running at a certain time, and dancers tend to be easy targets crawling through Port Authority at three in the morning.  They are easy to spot, if you ever care to try.  Just watch for overly made-up women hobbling along on sore feet, listing to one side in an attempt to balance out the other, which is always laden down with an oversized bag crammed with dollar bills, g-strings and high-heels.  I was one of those girls at one time, before I met Charley, a gentle, Big-Ben of a man.  Most of the drivers drove for money, but Charley drove for love.

He was a balding, overweight, middle-aged man who worked as a sales rep for some plastics company.  For two years he drove me home from bars with names like Puss-n-Boots, The Treasured Chest, and Al's Dancing Lady, even though his driving made me uneasy.  Wedged behind the steering wheel of his meticulously clean sub-compact, he didn't so much steer as hover over the wheel, gripping it so tight his knuckles glowed white. Bottle-thick glasses gave his eyes an almost maniacal bulge, and it didn't help that the ever-present quavering in his voice hinted a nervous breakdown was not too far off.  The bewildered sad-sack quality about him made you think that when he claimed he was a doomed man, there was no reason not to believe him.

I however, saw him as more misguided than doomed.  When I first started to ride with him, I was new to the business.  An unemployed modern dancer who had rationalized the way only a twenty-one year old can, that although dancing in a bikini on a stage in New Jersey was a far cry from Lincoln Center, it was still dancing.  Unfortunately, though my many years of classical training left me with good posture and grace, these were not qualities much in demand out in Passaic and Paterson.  The men out there liked their dancers slouchy and sloppy, all the better for a breast to stray out of a padded bra, or a g-string to slide ever-so-slightly over the pubic hair line.   I didn't fit in very well to the scene, and maybe that's why Charley agreed to drive me in the first place, because neither did he.

You see, his problem was that he was crazy in love with this dancer named Diane, a design student at FIT who, like everyone else, needed to make extra money.  Why she thought dancing in a go-go bar was the way to go about it was something I'll never understand.  At least I had the physique of a dancer, but Diane had the figure of someone you might find sitting behind the thick glass of a token booth, or behind the check out counter at K-Mart.  She had heavy thighs, hips wide enough to cradle twins and from afar, the bare cheeks of her behind looked like two enormous honeydew melons set side by side  . . . Italian peasant comes to mind when trying to describe her.  Her most beguiling feature was the way her light green eyes shimmered from behind her dark hair that was so wild and thick it seemed to explode from her head.  The remarks from the men could be cruel when your body was in shape; it must have been brutal for Diane.  No wonder she had a hard time getting booked.  She was competing with women who spent their days working out and their money on reconstructive surgery.  The only places that would hire her were the Spanish clubs in the Portuguese section of Newark, where they liked big-bottomed, wild-haired girls like Diane. 

Charley only drove girls he liked.  Of course, Diane always came first.  If I got off at one in the morning, and she got off at three, then I'd have to wait the two hours.  But if she got off earlier than me, I'd have to find another way home.  That's just the way it was.  So when Charley picked up Diane, I was sometimes with him.  He wouldn't allow me to stay in the car by myself, because the neighborhoods in Newark were dangerous, but I hated going inside those bars where she worked.  They were a world unto themselves, filled with short order cooks and drug dealers.  No one spoke English, but even if they did you wouldn't have been able to hear them, the Spanish disco was played so loud.  But what I especially feared was that first moment when we would step through the door into that dim world, and all those flat, lifeless eyes would turn to us.  It was the collective appraisal of trapped men in dead-end lives that made me nervous.  Anything could happen in a room full of men with nothing to lose. 

So Charley and I would stay by the door, and wait for Diane to emerge from the dressing room, not knowing if she'd be alone or with Janet, her friend.  If she were alone, the trip home would be quiet.  With barely a word to either one of us, she'd sink down low in the front seat and wrap herself up in a blanket of silence.  Charley knew better than to try and talk her out of her gloom.   Instead, he'd glance at her worriedly as he tried to make small talk with me in the rearview mirror. At first I thought she resented my being there, but Charley assured me I was tolerated.  She's just moody, he'd say, but eventually I came to realize this was Diane when she was straight.  

On the other hand, if Janet were with her, the ride was guaranteed to be chaotic.  Janet was an older woman, a coked-out Joan Collins look-alike.  The only clubs that would hire her did so as a novelty.  She didn't dance; her particular charm was her bawdy sense of humor.  Her routine was to stand in front of a man telling filthy jokes until he finally gave her money; either out of amusement or to make her get lost, it didn't matter to Janet.  A cocaine habit thickens the skin, and her hide was as tough as they come. 

I didn't mind Janet, but Charley despised her.  He blamed her for feeding Diane drugs, and wouldn't have let her in the car had Diane not insisted, so he allowed them to climb into his pine-scented car reeking of cigarettes and beer.  In the rearview mirror, I would watch him try to hide his hurt as Diane would drunkenly shove aside the container of take-out food he often had waiting for her.  "Christ, Charley, that food is going to make me vomit," she said in disgust once, as she waited  for Janet to chop up lines of coke on a compact mirror, even though she knew how much it upset him to see her doing drugs.

It was with the air of an anthropologist that I'd sit in the back seat and study my fellow passengers, searching for clues as to what made them behave the way they did.  As Janet and Diane took turns taking drags off a joint and passed the mirror back and forth over the car seat, I wondered at Diane's transformation from sullen retch to the giddy girl before me.  Charley had told me her drug abuse was getting so bad she was in danger of flunking out of school, but I still couldn't understand how she could sit by and watch her life go down the drain.  Or why she would ally herself with someone like Janet, whose life was already in the sewer.   Looking back, I can see my arrogance plainly now.  But at the time, listening to Janet tease Charley about his sex life, her voice a coy purr barely concealing her pleasure in humiliating him, I thought that to be edging in on fifty and still dancing and drugging, she had to be scraping the very bottom of her soul.  

And then I'd turn my attention to Charley.  Every once in awhile his loud hollow laugh would boom through the small car, almost shaking us with its vibrations.  Anyone else would have thought he was having a grand time, but I knew better.  I'd reflect on the times we traveled together, just he and I, along the turnpikes and highways that snaked endlessly through the industrial fields of Elizabeth, Linden and Newark.  Rivers of sludge and stagnant pools of water would pass by us on either side of the roadway, as tears streamed from under his thick glasses.  All around us towering infernos belched out black cinder while foul fumes wove their way through the cars' vents.  It was in this vision of Hell that Charley would divulge how he often thought of killing himself.  He just couldn't understand, he'd say in that quavering voice of his, why Diane was throwing herself away on a life of drugs and losers.  And then he would hunch even lower over the wheel, and confess that most of all, he couldn't see why she just couldn't love him the way he loved her. 

I'd never seen a man cry like that before, didn't know what to say, or how to make him feel better.  All I could offer him was the advice of someone still too young to know it wasn't possible to know your own heart, let alone another's. "Charley, I don't think  you're ever going to find what you need in these go-go bars," I once said, and went on to say that from what I'd seen so far, the whole scene was one big miserable tease, a lie, and anything worth having is based on truth.  I didn't want to come right out and say anything against Diane, but he knew what I meant.  I could tell by the way his hands tightened around the steering wheel as he stared off into the Dantean Jersey night, repeating how lonely he was, and all he wanted was someone to love.  "You just don't know Diane like I do," he'd say.  "No one does"

These pathetic pep talks of mine left me feeling like a hypocrite, because I was just as much to blame for his unhappiness as Diane, in a way.  After all, it was our need that kept pulling him out into the wastelands of New Jersey.  Not just for a ride, but for the sense that some one was there to rescue us.  At least that's how I felt when I saw Charley waiting for me at the end of the night wherever I was working.   In that moment, seeing him stand there, as anxious to get out of there as I was, I knew that everything was going to be okay; the nightmare of these places was over, if only until the next shift.  How could he not have felt how much he was needed?  Every night he came to pick one of us up, he was a hero. 

When Charley had a few accidents, one after another, I found another driver.  Other girls were telling me I was crazy to ride with that "big weirdo" and were surprised I wasn't already dead.  But it wasn't just his driving that made me stop riding with him.  It was those long rides alone with Charley; through landscape so blighted it mirrored to perfection his running monologue of despair.  As I listened to his voice, flat as the road underneath us, I began to understand why Diane behaved the way she did; the sometimes cruel indifference to his kind gestures.  It was because all the men in the bars began to resemble Charley.  They wanted you to fill up their empty lives somehow.  They expected you to talk to them, even when you were tired and had nothing to say.  But then they had just tipped you five dollars and you felt like you owed them something.  Didn't you owe them something?  So you'd sit and listen as they told you about their divorce, that their wife just didn't understand and that if they were younger, or richer, maybe then you'd give a guy a chance?  Because you're the one; they never talked to anyone so easy like.  And so pretty.  But you'd say no, you couldn't.  Why?  Because, because . . . then you'd lie and say you already had a boyfriend, or you were married.  They'd say sure, of course a fine girl like you would already be taken.  But their eyes would accuse you of thinking you're too good to go out with someone like them, you're like all the rest aren't you; seeing what you could get without giving.  That's when you could feel the fuck you underneath their smile, and you knew that the next time you'd see them they would look right through you, and tip someone else.

I stopped riding with Charley for the same reasons Diane had to get high every time she got in the car: After two years of dancing, I no longer needed a hero, I didn't want to be rescued.  All I wanted was a ride home.  For some time after, I'd get cards from him, wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day, or a Merry Christmas.  In one of them he thanked me for being 'a good passenger and a good friend.'  I never wrote him back.  It was only after I stopped getting them did I begin to wonder what had happened to him.  I asked around, but no one really knew.  He'd just kind of disappeared.  That bothered me, but I put it out of my mind.  I told myself that people on the go-go circuit had a habit of doing that, fading away or disappearing altogether.  Years later though, I finally did hear something about Charley. 

My driver at the time was an ex-con named Louie, and I had become his Diane.  Even though he was black and middle-aged, he thought we made the perfect match.  "White on the outside, dark on the inside," he used to say, referring to my bleak outlook on life.  It was at the end of a particularly long night when a dancer I sometimes worked with, climbed into Louie's broken down Impala.  

"Did you hear about Charley," she asked as she began to count her dollar bills in the back seat.  At first I didn't realize whom she was talking about.  I was buzzed by some coke I'd done during my shift.  I'd always sworn that I would never do it while I was working, that I wouldn't become like Diane and Janet, but that good intention had eroded like so many others during my tenure in Jersey.  Besides, I didn't need it so much during my shift as I did for the long ride home.

"Diane o.d.'d and he totally whacked out," she went on.   "Tried to kill himself by sticking his head in the oven, only he left a window open, the big dope. Neighbors smelled the gas."  As she spoke, I kept my eyes straight ahead.  Louie was looking at me.  He knew that I used to ride with Charley, and why I had stopped.  He asked me if I wanted a hit, and held out a small plastic bag full of coke, but I turned around in my seat and asked my friend if she knew what happened to him.  Still counting her money she shrugged her shoulders.  "They put him in some nut joint, I guess," she said. "I'm surprised you didn't know.  Weren't you kind of his friend?"  I turned back around in my seat and mumbled, "not really."  

As we headed back to the city that night I wanted to cry.  It felt as if a bruise somewhere deep inside my chest was being pressed on.  I had this sense that if I didn't cry right then, the pain would stay with me forever.  But it was like trying to jump-start a dead engine.  The tears just wouldn't come.  Finally, I gave up trying, and took a hit of Louie's coke instead.  

That was years ago, and if you asked me to draw you a map of how I got from there to here, married with a kid, making my living as, ironically enough, a dance therapist, the route would be untraceable with all the detours, wrong turns and dead-ends I'd made along the way.  But I can tell you it started with Louie getting busted, and me having to go back to riding New Jersey Transit.  One night, walking through Port Authority at three in the morning, I took my dance bag full of costumes, shoes, and make-up, and just left them with a homeless lady.  It was an impulse, but as soon as I did it, I felt like I'd just slipped off a suit of armor (You'd be surprised how heavy a g-string can be).  She opened the bag, and took out one of my wigs.  When she slipped it over her gray, sparse hair, and said, "It'll keep me warm in the cold," I knew I'd done the right thing. 

Now when I travel through the industrial fields of Newark, Elizabeth and Bayonne, I'm behind the wheel of a Volvo and my destination is the shore.  My eight-year-old daughter sits beside me while my husband dozes in the back, and although the factories still belch unbelievable amounts of smoke, and the sulphuric fumes still percolate up through the car vents, it no longer feels like I'm driving through hell.    In fact, this is my daughters' favorite part of the ride.  It's along this stretch we play a game of who can hold their breath the longest.   

Perhaps if I hadn't written this down, Charley would have become a vague memory, like a dream you forget to write down as soon as you wake up.  But the bruise he left behind keeps his impression strong in my mind: Charley, his big body hulking over the steering wheel, hands knuckle-white from hanging onto an illusion that as long as he held tight, Diane would stay by his side.  Sometimes the bruise's dull throb is sharper than others, and it’s those times that I have to remind myself that if I keep my eyes on the road, it will pass; everything does.  I know this as surely as things are not as they appear in my side-view mirror, or that in some back road of Charley's mind, he's still driving his Diane home.



Terese Pampellonne's work has been published in The Colorado Review, Caprice, New Works Review, Flying Horse and Wired Art. Her first novel, The Unwelcome Child, will be published this December by Kensington. "Driving Miss Diane", is one of the stories from her collection Ten Ways to Kill Your Mother.

Email: Terese Pampellonne

Return to Table of Contents